It can be real tough to get a blog started. The process usually goes something along the lines of focusing, solely in my head, on one random topic enough that I eventually develop enough commentary on to the point where it's unfair to verbalize it all at once to one or a few people and expect them to actually absorb what I'm saying. My assertion here is not that everyone's attention span is extremely limited, simply that I can be far more captivating in writing versus speech at most times. I'm not entirely sure why, I do know that when I start a sentence and multiple people start paying attention, I generally freeze up and cut the phrase as short as possible and immediately brush attention off to someone else in the vicinity. Whereas a blog offers the ability to read top to bottom without my tripping over my words and quickly losing your interest AND I get to be the center of attention (which is secretly my favorite).
Okay intro is finished thanks college, anyway relationships nowadays am I right? If you've been even remotely paying attention to me (which you damn well better be I'm a delight) then you're aware of the fact that my relationship which spanned five years came to an abrupt conclusion back toward the end of 2015. This was one of many things which contributed to the rather lengthy downward spiral I journeyed through while living in Seattle.
I spent most of my time in Seattle alone in my room doing nothing to improve myself. There were attempts- vague ones on my part to get my figurative shit together, but there was usually just enough of a force working against me that I generally threw in the towel early on things. The point I'm getting at here is that due to a combination of factors ranging from significant to inane, I really have not put any effort into pursuing a relationship.
Unless of course you count swiping through Tinder. Which you shouldn't.
And here I am, single and possibly sane enough to enter the dating world for the first time since 2011. I am of course, absolutely clueless about how dating even works. I was very fortunate to have met Mallory under the circumstances we did, i.e. just drunk enough to be somewhat socially competent. And that was generally the environment we hung out in at first, so we were able to move past our horribly awkward selves thanks to our good friend Smirnoff, and somehow that ended up working for me.
Sadly I'm no longer in college and drunkenly hanging out with legitametly cool people happens far less than it used to (not during the week anymore).
Beyond that using alcohol as a crutch has been speculated to be bad, but I don't see any science to support this.
So recently I sent a text to a girl I had met the night prior, and I never received a response. It wasn't the end of the world or anything obviously, but when I asked for input from a friend, I was blown away by their response.
"You should have waited three days. You texted to soon."
And I'm like, are you fucking serious is that a thing? I was confident that was some bullshit trope only in 90's sitcoms and the like. Convinced this had to be just one person's view, when the topic arose with a different friend a few days following, his response was the same.
Now there could be million reasons that she didn't respond, and that really has nothing to do with this. It just sparked the thought process. I am not trying to make the point that it had anything to do with the amount of time I waited or didn't wait. Aside from that situation entirely, I'm just honestly surprised this sort of thing is still a norm, and what the hell other rules are there that I'm woefully unaware of?
There are times when I wish I could just skip to the long-term part of a relationship. Just skip the annoying fake parts at the beginning and just fast-forward to being wonderfully comfortable with another person. I am aware that this is sort of crazy and has no chance of working but the idea of skipping past bullshit games and the like nice. If there are vibes of some sort, I'd prefer getting to know someone and discerning quickly whether there's any possible romantic future with them, is that strange? Is it odd that after meeting someone I'm sort of excited about talking to them again soon? Am I just this impatient?
These are all questions I was under the impression I knew the answer to. I get that the "game" or whatever can be exciting to some people, but it isn't to me, and I certainly imagine it won't be in this made up future lady I'm somehow dating.
To be clear I'm not whining about being single or anything, I'm not saying anyone is terrible for their preference in dating styles or that everyone is just a dirty whore. It's simply my opinion ya jabronis.
Switching topics ever so slightly, there's this weird correlation between guys I've known over the years being very single and very sexist. Now I am aware that correlation does not necessarily imply causation, but I am convinced there is a relationship between the fact that some of you collectively refer to women by either one of their body parts, or simply as "bitches," and the fact that you haven't gotten laid in over a year.
Bonus points for complaining about all women and how they are awful for not liking you, being such a nice guy... with the sole interest of a one night stand. I'm not trying to say casual sex is a bad thing just that condemning an entire gender because of your shitty pickup lines is lame. And this brings us full circle to the title of this blog and why more people should use the word lame.
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