A fair amount of content from my last two blogs came from either A. recent frustrating experiences or B. feedback based on my account of those experiences. I ran into a weird problem over the weekend where I spent most of my time with people whom I adore and therefore don't have much additional content to whine about.
So I'll address an alternate piece of feedback I received from a post two blogs ago wherein I supposedly decried the use of tinder.
I understand that it's difficult for flip-floppers such as myself to point to specific evidence to support any of my claims. Luckily I'm quoting myself here so it shouldn't be an issue.
(The context here is about me not actively pursuing any sort of romantic relationship)
"Unless of course you count swiping through Tinder. Which you shouldn't."
To my complete lack of surprise, there were some who managed to misinterpret this. I did not intend to say that swiping one's way through Tinder can't lead to any sort of romantic relationship or that any relationship based from the Tinder app is flimsy. I meant to say that repeatedly moving my thumb in a rightward motion should not be compared to approaching people in real life.
And this brings up another somewhat relevant topic: Tinder!
I had a close friend sit over my shoulder as I swiped my way through the past few days portion of matches. As I swiped right or left depending on my expert analysis of the roughly 800x600 pixel photo of a human being, I captured a few audibly dissatisfied noises from my apparent supervisor....
Oh what's that? You'd like a complete guide on how to get Sean Kennedy to swipe right on your photo in Tinder? Well congrats you fucking weirdo this one is for you I guess
Though as I began that guide I came to the conclusion that it is probably simpler to know what will get me to not swipe right on you.
1. Your picture is of you on top of a mountain or something
Okay Hi I'm Sean and we haven't met. I saw your display picture on Tinder though, and I am already exhausted by you. I'm all for hiking and seeing things but the fact that you choose to attract people by expressing: "I like to go outside and climb things that are very inconvenient" tells me that you're probably more mature in your hobbies than I am and that I'd want to take a nap about three minutes after meeting you.
2. You're in a photo with six other similar looking people
I apologize because you're probably an incredible human being, but the fact that I can't tell who you are in a group of attractive people just puts me off and creates an awkward 80's sitcom situation where I match with you and one of your friends on Tinder and meet one of you for a date and have no idea which one you actually are. Yes, I have denied potential matches on Tinder because of this ridiculous probability.
3. Your photo is you with a bunch of dudes around you
It's hard for me to back this one up. The honest truth is I'm already too jealous of all of these men I've never met to give myself the opportunity to be rejected. In reality your photo likely just showcases that you're mature enough to have a wide spectrum of friends not limited by gender, which is something I appreciate in literally anyone.
Attaining a right sliding swipe is far easier:
1.Have a photo with you and your cat
2. Don't not have a photo with a cat
3. Cats
Moving on slightly I feel sort of lame about addressing feedback I've received from the last few posts of mine. The last thing I want is for feedback to stop coming (i.e. keep praising me please) and I fear that when I take silly opinions offered to me and make fun of them, that I'm discouraging people from responding in the first place. I hate to apologize for making fun of people with shitty opinions about other humans beings, so I'm going to avoid doing that and proclaim I'll do a better job of covering your identity when you let loose horrible statements. Looking at you there, Jeff.
Sidenote, something that has really encouraged my writing as of late: the correct people have told me that they enjoy it. I've had close friends contact me informing me that they enjoy my writing style as of late, and I ironically I can't put into words how much that just tickles me. In addition there have been a few cases where individuals who I am in consistent contact with informed me that they again have enjoyed my updated to this silly blog I started in 2009.
Regardless it's cheaper than a movie and there's free coffee.
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