Different

One year, one month, one week, and one day.

That is the current duration of my employment at the Columbia Basin Racquet Club.

My title at this fitness center is "Kid's Club Staff Member." Basically, I watch children, ages 7-13, while their parents work out.

Depending on the day it's the best or worst job I could think of, but we've been over that.

(I'm going somewhere with this.)

I'd like to thank all the incredibly annoying children I've watched over the past year, you have worked wonders for my patience skills. Two years ago, if you had told me, "Sean! one day soon, you will be able to effortlessly tolerate upward of 10 children whining, screaming, and being loud in general!" I probably would have kicked you in the balls, regardless of your gender.

Now, the manner in which I deal with the situation may not be the best, but it works. More often than not, I sit there, stare at the ceiling, and soak up all the noise and annoyances...Pretty much until they stop completely, as they realize that just because they are obnoxious beyond measure, it doesn't mean it will get them anywhere.

Now, fast forward from work to this morning. I arrived at the Kennewick Ropes Course, slightly anxious as to what the day had in store. I was surrounded by people I don't generally talk to at school, and we kind of came down from whatever social level we where previously at to a common ground, for today at least. It was tons of fun, but I have to say I wasn't altogether excited to climb 30 feet into the air and walk across a log in front of 18 people.



I looked like this, only I'm not Kramer.

Anyhow, this is now going to connect to my job.

About 15 feet from the ground, I accidentally glanced down and had one of those "oh, shit" moments.

Then I just sort of imagined the fear as a screaming 10 year old, running at me full speed, full of rage at not being able to have more cheese its. Conveniently, I have a strategy for this situation: I let the child smash into me at full speed, (usually) resulting in the brat flat on the ground, still with no more cheese its. Sure, it might make me move backward an entire step or two, but I'm still happily on my feet.

So for a moment or two, I looked down and I gave the fear a few cheese its, and said that's enough. When I got up to the log and looked down, and the fear came sprinting at me wanting more cheesy goodness, I let it, and completely ignored it, just like the spoiled youth I am charged with watching. After it slammed into me with full force, I shook for a second or two, and I was on my merry way.



Now, we are switching topics.

The po-po. WTF.

I don't generally count how many police cars I see in a normal day. However, today seemed to be far from a normal day: I saw roughly 13 different police driving around during my driving through Kennewick, West, and Richland.

Apparently, police will now pull you over if you are speeding.

....I know, right? Weren't they already supposed to do that?

I thought so too, I guess now they are just going to be bigger jerks than before about it, and will swarm you in greater numbers.

By now, you may have picked up on the fact that I'm not too fond of local law enforcement. In elementary school, a nice picture was painted in my mind about what a police officer is, and how they should act. Sadly, this painting has been reduced to a wadded up piece of paper nothing like the original.

I don't recall the last time I saw a cop car, and thought to myself "Golly, I sure am glad there is a cop around here, they make me feel so darn safe!"

These days its far more likely that begin to sweat and consider everything that some jerk with an inferiority complex would point out if he decides to stop me for no reason.

Interactions with the police over the past 3 years:

1. Alden, Jeremy, and I were drinking slurpees on Carmichael Hill at around 10 on a summer night. One, two, three, four police cruisers pull into the parking lot and ask for our ID. We ask if we shouldn't be there that late. Their response? "We don't know, we aren't officers of this county."

2. A group of 10 or so people are airsofting at the giant ditch in West Richland. A policeman walks up, and collects a mass of information from everyone present and tells us off for "destroying private property."

3. Around 2 in the morning, again during the summer, Kaden and I check out the new Freshman parking lot at RHS. After entering through one entrance, travelling to the other end of the lot, and exiting, an undercover policecar starts following us. Three blocks later, after Kaden had done nothing wrong, lights goa flashin and we pull over. I have to say, I didn't know it was possible to be as unprofessional as the two men who stopped us where. After being completely rude and asking a battery of pointless questions, one of them spots a can of spray paint in the back seat. Wholeheartedly convinced that we where out tagging the school, the officer demands to see our fingers for traces of spray paint. After obviously finding nothing, he says "You two better get your asses home, now, if I catch you out anywhere else tonight you won't like what happens."



I have no idea where I'm going with this.


I guess I'll just warn you that if you speed, you might get pulled over, BUT FOR REALSIES THEY WILL NOW.


Good Lawd I'm so tired, my apologies if this is completely incoherent.

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